The Peach To My Mario
by mlogiizer
Summary: AU. "And I know I said that there are many types of fish out in the sea...but I don't want any other fish. I want you, Mello. Cuz you're the perfect fish for me." Only Matt would refer to someone as a fish when attempting to woo them. MattxMello FLUFF!


My first fanfic and it's a Death Note, Matt/Mello one! How many of you are excited? :D

*chirp chirp*

Well then. xD

This story, man…I had that whole saying 'Opposites Attract' and 'There are many fish out in the sea' stuck in my head, and for some odd, twisted reason, my mind manage to link those two overused sentences…with Matt.

Yeah, I don't get how my brain works either.

Anyways, enjoy (the fluff!)! And remember to review! :)

-x-

The Peach To My Mario

Matt looked up when he heard their front door slam open and shut with enough force to shake their whole house. The redhead looked up hesitantly and almost sighed in relief when the plaster didn't crumble and fall from their (cheap, cheap, CHEAP) ceiling and fall onto his (poor, poor, POOR) head.

Thank Bowser.

He paused his game long enough to peek around their living room corner and see his blonde roommate, Mello, stomp up the stairs with angry viciousness. Matt distinctly registered the floorboards creaking in agony with every angry step Mello abused on them, and thought that maybe he should oil them. (But can you even oil floorboards? And what the hell would that help to do? Ah well…it can't hurt to try!)

Mello reached the top landing of the house and proceeded to stomp into his room and slam the door shut.

"ARGHHHHHHHH!"

Matt sighed.

Here we go again.

He climbed up the stairs as slowly and quietly as possible, wanting to prolong his demise should he confront a PMSing Mello, but also wanting to calm the blonde down before any excess damage could be delivered to their house. Matt was quite sure his cashier job wouldn't be able the pay for the damages Mello could (and would, if given the chance) inflict on their home.

"Mello?" Matt knocked hesitantly on the blonde's door, and the crashing in the room paused enough for Mello give out a bark.

Literally.

"'You okay in there?"

"DO I SOUND OKAY TO YOU, YOU MAN-BITCH?" Mello howled.

"…no?" Mello didn't even deign that pathetic comment enough for a comeback, and the crashing resumed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

There was a sudden silence, and Matt felt cold sweat break on his forehead before Mello began talking quietly, "You know how I had a date today with Lex today?" He didn't allow time for Matt to answer before he continued. "Yeah, I went to meet with him in this gay-ass bar, and then he broke up with me."

Ouch.

Matt refrained from saying that out-loud.

"Yeah. I know," the leather-clad man continued bitterly. "He said I was 'too much trouble' or some other lame excuse like that and then walked out on me. That bastard!" Matt heard a_ thump! _and guessed that his best friend had just punched the wall in anger.

Matt swallowed and began talking after Mello had stopped grumbling. "Well…there are many fish in the sea. Maybe he just wasn't the right fish for you. Or maybe you just weren't fishing in the right sea."

Mello growled lightly. "But he was completely compatible to me! We both like motorcycles, and the same types of music and movies…and he buys me chocolate!"

"I buy you chocolate too." Matt pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah…but you're my best friend, so you're _obligated _to buy chocolate for me," Mello replied.

Oh.

The _best friend _card.

Matt visibly deflated.

"Right. Well, maybe you two were too compatible together?" The gamer ventured, still somewhat sore that the _LOVE OF HIS LIFE _was still completely oblivious to how much he loved him.

Like. Loved-loved him.

And Mello was supposed to be smart.

"Don't be stupid, Matt," Mello snapped. "You can't be _too_compatible for someone. If you're really compatible with someone, it means your relationship is supposed to work. Not burn out and crash down." Matt could see Mello visibly swallow the 'Duh' from flying out of his mouth.

"Nuh-uh, Mels. Haven't you heard of 'opposites attract'?"

"Unless it's for science, that's a completely stupid theory."

"How could you even _say_that?" Matt openly gawked at the door separating him from the blonde. "There are so many examples of the whole 'opposites attract' theory!"

"Oh yeah?" Mello snarkily replied. "Like who?"

"Like Mario and Princess Peach!" The redhead practically exploded, and if he wasn't feeling so agitated at that point, he would've been able to tell that his blonde friend/love-of-this-life was face-walling quite repeatedly in the confines of his bedroom.

Oh well.

"Those two are _perfect_ for each other yet they're complete opposites!" Matt continued to fervently defend his case. "I mean, Mario is this short, fat, Italian plumber with a moustache while Princess Peach is this hot and sexy girl. Yet they _love _each other!"

"…Matt…" Mello growled. "Those two are fictional, Nintendo characters. They do not count."

"_Mello!_" Matt sounded completely aghast. "How could you even say that? Mario is my God!"

"But he's _not real_."

"Just admit it, Mels," it was Matt's turn to growl, "Opposites DO attract. Lex just wasn't the right plumber for you."

The ridiculousness of the whole situation seemed to finally catch up with the blonde, and the next thing Matt knew, Mello was laughing hysterically.

"Mello…?"

"!"

Matt continued standing awkwardly outside his best friend's door and listened to the insane laughter streaming from inside. The redhead began sweating profusely after five minutes and the blonde had yet to cease laughing.

"…Mels? Are you okay?"

The sudden silence scared Matt, and the redhead began a quick prayer in his head to the fat, moustached plumber that seemed to be the cause of all this insanity.

Maybe.

"You just…" Mello said, his voice sounding slightly hoarse. "_Sweet merciful crap_. What the hell are you smoking, Matt?"

"Cigarettes…?" When Mello sighed in aggravation, Matt figured it was the wrong answer and continued talking, "I'm just saying, Mels. Maybe Lex isn't right for you."

"Because he's too compatible for me."

"Yes." Matt decided to ignore the sarcastic undertone coloring the blonde's voice.

"And you believe the whole 'opposites attract' stuff."

"Yes."

"Fine then."

A sigh was heard, and Matt's heart began thumping wildly—

"I guess I'll go ask Near out."

—to promptly stutter to a screeching halt.

"…what?"

"Well, I mean you _did _say opposites attract. And Near is my completely opposite, right? I just thought I'd trust you this once. I mean…I guess Near isn't…that…bad…" If Matt wasn't twitching in blind rage, he would've noticed the teasing quality Mello's voice seemed to have suddenly gained.

"…"

"…"

"…that's not what I meant, you buffoon!" Matt yelled out.

"It isn't?" Mello's voice sounded too deceptively innocent to be real. But again, Matt was too pissed off (and disturbed) at the thought of Mello…and Near…_together _to take notice.

Oh sweet Zelda.

"For Pikachu's sake! I meant _me_!" The redhead shouted. "ME! _I'm _your perfect opposite!"

Mello's smirk was palpable from through the thick, wooden door.

"What do you mean 'you're my perfect opposite', Matt?" Mello asked teasingly.

Matt paused.

Well hot damn.

The redhead took in a deep breath and braced himself for this suicide-mission he was about to plunge in. Mello was totally worth the embarrassment. Mello was worth it. He was. Is. Completely worth it. Mmhmm—

Sweet mother of bleached sheets.

_Help me!_

"I…I mean," Matt cleared his throat; "I like you. Like that. Maybe even love you. Like that. And I mean, I always buy you chocolate even though it's the cheap ones because I'm completely broke, and I always do my best to make you happy. And I think you're happy. Because you've never complained. But maybe you're just being nice. And I don't even know what I'm saying anymore but I think we're opposites. And opposites attract. So…"

Matt took in a deep breath before plunging forward.

Salute. Salute.

"And I know I said that there are tons of fish in the sea. But I don't want any other fish. I want you, Mels, cuz you're the perfect fish for me—"

He did not just compare Mello to fish…

"—and well…you're like the Peach to my Mario. The Zelda to my Link. The Pikachu to my Ash. And I was wondering…"

Hack. Cough. Choke. Swallow. Cough again. Hack once more. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Will you let me be your…y'know…perfect plumber?"

There was perfect silence. It was almost deadly, in fact, and Matt began sweating profusely again. He should've worn some deodorant…but who the hell knew that this would happen? Today? Right now?

Cuz if Matt did, he would've worn a suit and tie.

Or maybe just the tie, because he didn't own a suit.

_Mello's gonna kill me. He's gonna eat me and swallow me and barf me back out. Or even worse: he'll burn all my games and force me to watch BEFORE eating me and swallowing me and barfing me back out. Or maybe—_

Mello's door slowly opened.

—_I'm too young to die! I still never finished my new Final Fantasy Game! Cloud's still stuck in the middle of the ocean! Link's still stuck in the Twilight Forest! Mario never saved Peach yet! I'm still a virgin! Light still—_

"Sure."

_—owes me twenty-five dollars for setting him up on a date with L! Near still has my…wait…_

"…what?" Matt blinked dazedly.

"I said sure," Mello said good-naturedly, looking a whole lot better than he did a mere twenty minutes ago. "When're you ready to start wooing me?"

"Umah…wadada…whoobee…"

"…you're loosing your brownie points really quickly, Matt." Mello pointed out in a low voice.

"Oompa…wada…dum…y-you don't think…that my confession…was really stupid?" Matt asked slowly, still having difficulty comprehending what was going on.

"Psh. Hell no." The blonde quipped. "Your speech was gay as hell. But…I mean. It's the thought that counts, right? And all that shit about fish and Mario was kinda…_sweet_…in a really stupid way. Just. Don't say anything as gay as that anymore, and we should be fine."

"…wow." Matt not-so-discreetly pinched himself. Just in case.

"Yeah."

"Hm…so are we dating now?"

"Yeah."

"So…can I kiss you now?"

Mello gave him a taunting smirk. "Only if you have the guts to, plumber-boy."

Matt shot Mello an equally playful smile before cupping the blonde's cheeks and pressing their lips together. And as things began heating up, and Mello's hand somehow found its way into Matt's pants (HOT DAMN!), the redhead couldn't help thinking:

_Ha! I bet you can't kiss as good as I can, Mario._

Or, at least, not with that moustache he can't.

-x-

END.

-x-


End file.
